Do I need to ‘do’ more or am I just impatient?

And how does one know when to get off the hamster wheel of non-stop doing?

I’ve never figured out when enough was enough.

I believe that people like Gary V are full of shit. They are committed to their identity of being martyrs. They exclaim from mountaintops “You’re not working hard enough!”

Well…when the fuck is enough ‘hustling?’

Frantically ‘doing’ has gotten me nowhere. Every single day, moment to moment, I wonder: “What ‘should’ I be doing?” I hear the unrelenting whispers of various podcasters, authors, and ‘experts’ — “You could be doing more! You expect things to just come to you?!”

And the hippies say things like “Ah, yes, relax; manifest and trust. All is well. Just align and flow.” (whatever the fuck that means)

I’m all for taking inspired + imperfect action. And as hard as it is for my limited mind to grasp, I’ve seen enough scientific proof to know that reality is an illusion of sorts that we impact. And thus, the hippies have a real point.

But I have to say that neither of these, whether individually or combined, has truly worked for me — at least according to how I’m perceiving my life.

I believe there’s a third aspect nobody talks about; some element of the Unseen. Whether it is “God,” “The simulation,” “Destiny,” etc.

It’s super sexy to believe we have full autonomy and control of our realities — and fuck, do I want to believe that. And it makes for great marketing and soundbites. Yet I just don’t believe that’s the full truth.

You can take all of the right action, hold all of the empowering beliefs, and visualize + feel the ultimate end result, but that won’t necessarily make it so. I believe that life/destiny will unfold in the precise way in which it wants to. Which, quite frankly, feels nothing short of maddening, frustrating, and confusing.

We think we know what we want — but do we actually? We need some sort of target to aim for, but the destination could be far different (and hopefully better).

And a key aspect of what unfolds for us is the timing in which it will take place. Surrendering to that timing has been the hardest part for me. The feeling of whatever “it” is…isn’t happening fast enough.

Yes okay, reality may be an “illusion,” but time seems pretty damn real. We are grounded in feeling time. The days pass. We have bills to pay. Events occur. I don’t care if this is all a dream of sorts; it feels quite convincing.

So we take inspired action, we try to install beneficial beliefs and mindsets within us…and then we wait. But can I trust that things will unfold for me, let alone in a timeline that isn’t wildly distant? Or have I been delusional all this time — and I’m actually not ‘doing’ enough?

Is the world burning to clear a better way for me — or am I the only one ablaze?

To trust and surrender to a benevolent resolution/unfolding is hard as fuck, because it requires a suspension of our physical senses. Even if I correctly understand the overall framework of how the game of life works, how does one suspend their senses and feelings, when these are the only signals that we receive as to how our lives are going? How do we know what an ‘accurate’ representation of our current life circumstances is versus when better circumstances are on the horizon for us…and we just need to hold out a little longer?

How does one learn to trust life?

At the core of it all, I think we just have to believe that the Universe is benevolent. If that is the case, does that also mean there is a path/destiny already ready for each of us to fall into? And if so…can we soften into allowing the supposed inevitability of our destiny to transpire? Even if that ends up being the case…can I hold onto this alluring idea long enough for it to materialize?

Some people seem to have a rather easy time trusting life. I think that’s probably always been my single biggest challenge.

Perhaps there are, in fact, unseen forces guiding/helping us, even when everything we’re experiencing would indicate otherwise. And it all transpires for us in the perfect timeframe. And we’ve been ‘doing’ all that we’ve needed to this whole time.

But no idea how to discern if that’s the case or not.

Thoughts? Comment below — I’d love to hear your perspective.