Why feeling guilty over having “privilege” is foolish
Alternate perspectives to reconsider our shame and guilt with what we have
We are
I was having a conversation with someone the other day. She is in her 30s, intelligent, well-educated, and socially-progressive. As a well-meaning person, she feels ongoing significant guilt and shame over the privilege she has had/continues to have (or at least that society leads her to believe that she has).
She does have privilege — as do I — but I find this to be a mass confusion that we have to fix.
At this point, it’s now a competition to see who can be the bigger victim. It is a badge of honor to receive the gold star of suffering. To make others “wrong” in an attempt to attain the moral high ground.
Sure, we can acknowledge having privilege in a variety of ways. But almost everyone has some kind of privilege, regardless of if this wish to admit it.
Did you grow up with both of your parents? Are you able to pay your bills? Are all of your limbs intact and working? Are you naturally intelligent or gifted in a certain area?
Privilege goes far beyond just material means.
For the sake of argument, let’s say that the woman I’m referring to lives a “privileged life.”
What if we had lived many lives before, and will live many more, and that this one is just one of those countless lives?
And what if in hundreds of her past lives, she was wildly poor? Sickly? Miserable?
If this was true…can we find gratitude for our privilege now if we knew that we lived destitute for hundreds of years in previous lifetimes? Have we “suffered” enough prior to earn some semblance of advantage in this life?!
What if everyone has the exact same amount of privilege cumulatively across the entirety of the lives that their souls experience?
And for those that clearly have privilege in this particular life — we don’t know the hidden battles they’re fighting, such as extreme anxiety, past abuse, or generational trauma.
Both can be true: it is our collective obligation to level the playing field so that everyone has the same opportunities in life — yet we don’t blame others for being born into more seemingly advantageous circumstances — because in my opinion, the majority of them are not actively perpetrating furthering these inequities.
Through soul contracts, we chose our circumstances
I believe that we chose to incarnate from the spirit world into our exact circumstances (bodies, families, gifts/skills, experiences, etc.) for the evolution of our souls.
Is there a possibility that those who appear less privileged than us chose their life circumstances in order to transcend their reality?
As it says in the popular book Think And Grow Rich “Every adversity, every failure, every heartbreak, carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”
Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says “To live each moment in our lives as if we chose it.”
That’s of course infinitely easy to say when one knows they’ll never go hungry or they’re sitting in an air-conditioned room in a free country.
On the other side of the coin, it’s the same reason why many of those who were raised with a silver spoon often achieve lackluster results or have catastrophic endings. Their extreme privilege was their Achilles' heel.
“But there are so many people who have less.”
Absolutely. And we must collectively raise the standard of living for everyone / ensure that everyone has their basic needs met.
Until that time comes…does us feeling guilty about that make others richer, healthy, or happier?
We’re not here to save the world; we are all here to be the fullest authentic expression of ourselves.
(if you truly feel called/an authentic internal desire to help in certain situations, then of course please do).
And generosity is an amazing quality for people to embody. E.g. the Bible says “The world of the generous gets larger and larger.”
But for people giving money or time: are you giving from the underlying energetic blueprint of guilt/shame/”should” — or because it feels expansive and empowering to give those chosen recipients?
I feel that the ideal form of generosity is to give by seeing it as an investment in the other person; a form of “I believe in you, here you go because you’re already worthy,” as opposed to “I feel bad for you, here’s a small sliver of something as a token of my guilt.” Recipients can absolutely feel the difference.
The shaming of the wealthy
It is now the trendy thing to do to blame the wealthy for the problem of the masses. I feel this is just a grand projection of our own inadequacies (our ego hard at work).
When people say “Billionaires/millionaires shouldn’t exist!” and “Eat the rich!” what they’re really saying “I could never see myself earning a ton of money. I feel unworthy of that.” Their internal inadequacies are the fuel to tear others down as much as they can.
A lot of people believe that those who are rich are sucking up all of the money, e.g. that every dollar Jeff Bezos earns is one less dollar for everyone else — thus leaving the masses to fight for the scraps.
Based on my understanding of the laws of the Universe, this is simply untrue. There is no limited amount of wealth and we will never run out of money. The Universe expands as we fulfill our authentic desires and expand into our destinies. Go ahead: try to make the world “run out of money.”
Another principle that I operate from is that we can’t have what we detest.
If we loathe the wealthy, how could we possibly accrue riches for ourselves? Wouldn’t we be blocking ourselves the whole time from ever attaining it?
Not to mention — does projecting anger against the wealthy fix our situation, or is it frivolous task like boiling the ocean?
The most extreme white-collar criminals (e.g. Sam Bankman-Fried and Bernie Madoff) and the common mugger/thief share the same misperception: that money is scarce, and they better get all they can before it is too late — by any means necessary.
Money is not “the root of all evil” (that’s actually a misquote), but rather, poverty and lack mentality is the real disease that we must eradicate.
Money is actually a neutral force that amplifies who you naturally are. If you’re a power-hungry sociopath or insatiably superficial, money is going to make you more effective at embodying that. If you are a compassionate and generous person, money will drastically enhance your ability to impact others.
If you consider yourself to be a good person — you owe it to yourself and to the world to aim to become as wealthy as you can (in a way that serves you and is in integrity). You can help infinitely more people when you have money. There is no nobility in poverty, and if you consider yourself a martyr, you’ll only end up as a cautionary tale.
I believe that abundance is everyone’s birthright (and we must define abundance/success for ourselves). We weren’t born to suffer or struggle forever.
“If there is a God, why is there so much suffering?”
I believe that we are each individual fractals of God playing hide and seek with itself (via Alan Watts). We’re here to transcend our fears and limitations to rediscover our own divinity through our unique reality-creation powers to ultimately create our own version of heaven on earth.
And again, we do this by living countless lives with varying sets of circumstances.
All of the negative forces in the world — from the news to war — are a part of this divine game of hide and seek that we signed up for. And damn, when the world feels as chaotic as it does right now, the game feels unbearably challenging.
“So what should my next step be?”
Don’t worry, dear reader; I’m right there with you in figuring it out for myself. My understanding is to ponder questions such as:
- In what situations or with what people can I best contribute to/be the most impactful?
- Maybe I feel hopeless and disempowered when it seems like the world is burning — but what do I actually have control over/what can I improve, even in my own life?
- Where can I fully utilize and own the gifts of my specific circumstances (“privilege”) to bring more joy to myself and others?
- Where have I felt guilty to use my natural gifts (wealth/possessions skills, physical being, network, etc.) — and how could I serve both myself and others better by doing so?
